Vagabond of Sorts: An Ode

 Your favourite was Van Damme,

You danced and never gave a damn,

You smiled at every chance

You were like a boy but more than a man.

I remember how we sat by the roof,

Fools singing to a tune with no clue

How our lives would be in years too few

Your memory is my solitude

We shared each others lives in truth

Stayed up at nights and through

Cassettes of solos and drew

Our inspiration from the silly things of new

We took our journeys in crowded streets

Climbed our stairs in busy fleets

Walked miles to get a few treats

Entered darkness to disco beats.

The last I remember is your smile

I hear your voice that laughs every while

Your simple desire to be amongst all

Accepted and loved, you never saw

You never spoke evil or any wrong

But always took everything with a comic straw

Rest in peace my dear brother

You are the one who was there before any other

In my heart you be forever. 

Suddenly

Suddenly

Suddenly I am found
Suddenly I am lost
I am big, I am small
I am open,
Now I am closed
I lost my voice
I lost my thoughts
I am with all
Suddenly I am a wall

I measured my cup
Drank it to full
Though last was but
A few too many true
Suddenly I see
The past is never free

I took light steps
Weighed my options well
Found my ekagai preps
Tossed the doubts like a spell
Suddenly I feel
May be it was just a deal

I went ahead,
Turned my myself in
Let my body loose
Held my feet in tight shoes
Walked the line with a noose
Just to be like you
Suddenly I feel bruised

Suddenly, I realised
Some may talk with you
Others may walk with you
Still one may be with you
But suddenly,
All will desert you

I must be I must be channeling
I must find a way
I must just stay
In the path I pray
Suddenly I will say.

To and fro

I was able to write
able to talk
able to ride
able to be
but i was unable to let go
so i walked up
I stood up
but i was shaken
I was strong
but I was mistaken
not by me
but by my thought
so I rested and sensed
I finally moved back the fence
took a breather and then bought
another packet of incense
for the lungs and sat there by the bench

Delirium

All that I am,
All that I do,
May be is an illusion,
May be its you.
I was never there,
Neither were you,
Neither were they,
Who thought this through.

I found a piece of hope,
in some souls who were true,
who danced with the sun,
and sung with the moon,
but with the morn,
died like the dew.

Where is all this leading,
is it so fluid and flowing?
to be so untrue,
or is it me who seems to wander,
from here and a few.

what is my purpose,
what is my clue,
what is my passion,
is it you?
or is it me who is so blind,
can never see if it was ever so clear,
or blunt or just fine

The Manipulative Ones

Stand among the common
Be less of a demon
Be more of someone
Like one who lives among
The one eyed sage
Against a blind age

One is better than none
But two is lesser than some
Since your eyes only see
A one sided mystery

I have in my past counted
Sheep in sleep of shrouded
Only to never fall back asleep
But rather  be more concerned and clouded

In the street across, I see faces, who see faces, who see traces of life waiting to lose out on the most important things. I see a child smile as he gets his packet of chocolate or pepsi. I see a wannabe shopkeeper waiting for his chance to be rich. I see young men smiling at little girls pass by. I see people who would otherwise seem quiet, talk. I don quite get what they say to each other, but I overhear some discussion about the way all life should be. But is it so simple and pompous at the same time to assume we are so deserving? Is it wrong to want when you are not divine or at least called to the same holiness.
I hear my friend defend his religion and I listen to his heart speak of evil while his mouth slanders. My other acquaintances deliver their twist of the situation and object the truth, but what is the truth? This is so confusing! How do I live with these truths? But, they say there is one truth. Who are they? 

I was amazed and angered
Sat there waiting to be tampered
But I watched myself go
Leave all that flow

I walked across the hall
I calmed my spirit from all
I suddenly designed my thoughts
To be manufactured from talks.

How did I come to surpass
Illusions in a blind curve
Defunct, destroyed and delivered
At your doorstep they surrendered.

While all this took place in my head
While all this replayed in my bed
I gloomed over the glass
Sipped another of my best, fast.

The Yearning to Flee

Several times today I wondered
I was in a world where many have been
Rules have been placed on temple tops
Achievement become a milestone for character
But do you see that the soul was dipped in a saucer

Some friends of mine stay with me
Some friends of mine play with me
Some friends of mine share with me
Some friends of mine lie to me
But most friends of mine are just not a part of me.

Fade you my dear in my memory
I am not a fool of your imagination
You may mould me into the thoughts
But leave your room and get me in
I can change the world you live in
I can drown you in to a pool
But you will come out new

Dry

Confused, refused, reused and used,
Redo, revive and redone,
Return, complete and incomplete,
My life is starting to make sense
My life is starting to turn the sheet

I hate being in trance
I hate being in a stance
I hate being ready
I am ready but still unsteady

Will they accept me or my mind
What is my mind
is my my mind my intellect?
Is my my mind a disconnect?

You know we live by the book
Th book is a book of God and men,
By why should you be a script?
Should you be just more than a bit

I hate you little stars
You all seem to shine but only after hours,
You all seem glowy and smiley,
Only make me want to fly
But I know I am a river that had run dry.

The nature of Existence

A little squirrel
Got into a quarrel
He started his day
thought he could make hay
but instead was told he was gay

Haha!  cried the mighty tree
In my kingdom you are free
Until you flee
from toil and tyranny
But its all here you see
you only have to say it like me

Hail thee, Oh great wisdom!
Knowledge of ages and queen peace torn,
The king now comes with power
And the soul he commands by the hour
What will you do my love?
Like a fish sheltered by a cove

Why does this place have so little?
Now left of what was never so brittle,
Its a short burst of joy with which we applaud
The condition of our simple lives we live in fraud,

Be true, be just, be just to be,
Be simple, be humble be scared of thee,
The almighty is not one who kills for free.
He is she and she is he, only just be, just be.

The Strange Animal I Knew

A strange animal by my side
She watched me eat and dine
By the fire close she lie
Never let my sight go out and die.

A spooky look on her funny eyes
A strange animal twice my size
She gobbled her food in a rush
And she ran her distance in a flush.

I made many changes while I was in conversation
My speech was blur I hope it wasn't an invasion
But gradually she gobbled up her herbs and forbs
A Strange animal by my side.

So a time came when winter was done
A time came when the grass was young
We all had moved with the wind above
So strange was the time when she away drove
I watched in strangeness this new
That I had known quite well this day would come.

Man and the Mountain

When one wakes up every morning he finds himself in a place where he would rather not be, along the day, situations he would rather not have seen or even comparisons which he would rather not have made. Every single day again he wakes up thinking the same. But the same things come back in a quick reminding flash to engulf and enliven. In a hope to find what he now declares as longing for a kind of calm from the confusion, he wanders into the forest. He finds a blade of grass to tickle his tongue between his teeth. Further deep, he wanders and wanders, he then fears this scares his thoughts to turn him back. Why bother waste a life which has so much to give and so much to live for? For once though, he decides not to do the usual, to not think rationally, to not use all that he learned but to just follow curiously his child heart. He sees a high top, and then heads towards the hill through what seemed earlier like a beautifully aligned patch from a distance is now but full of thorns and prickles in close contact through the way. At this point he wanders if he should just now be getting back. But no he just decides to go ahead. At the top he reaches. Sigh! Relief! But wait, where is everybody? Not one soul has reached here. He seems to be always alone. He only wished someone was there to share the sight with him. He sees all-pervading wonder, a chance to smell the wind above. The sky, rocketing even higher, but only this time it’s bigger and clearer. Only then he realizes that the top is always a lonely place. 

Misplaced Pride

India a country where daughters are poor,
Not safe inside the womb nor outdoor,
where certain sections battle poverty,
and many ask for a meagre hefty dowry.

India where caste is so nice,
unless and until you have to choose a wife,
Where above you only is your birth
and some times you may be even below the earth.

India where many sons claim the soil,
but hardly know about the value and toil,
Many claim to outcast foreigners,
Standing with their head shaven with banners.

India I am proud of you, atleast you don kill as many as other nations,
Atleast you have some wonderful things in a constitution,
Atleast you walk around in naked feet flaunting your humility,
But still where many are torn aprt society and liberty.

Ah! My friend,did you light up a candle today?
May the souls of the departed rest in peace,
May we find what we seek in our dreams,
May we find our children bathing in clear streams,
That have the blood of our untold screams.

The time alone

My mind is wondering worm,
Ringling right into the most malleable mud,
Encircled by thoughts of life and new,
But my heart is heavy without you.

Listening to voices in my head,
I devote myself to strange pastimes,
I find a piece of stone, throw it around,
Get back to my sense of what I left behind.

I find you in my room,
missing in chair, lying by the lair,
knocking on my door, your influence on walls,
stuck in my image of the world,
so wide and yet so small,
you were always there when I was to fall.

Peril of the Dog (Dhole)

Many Dhole  are killed in retaliation in Arunachal Pradesh 

Rarely 2500 of the endangered Asiatic Wild dog remain in the World. I was on my 3 year study in Arunachal Pradesh when I found out that here lies a species dissapearing faster than ever. Much of the conservation is centered around the Tiger but its co-predators are really missing the attention. I spent numerous hours watching the rich wild-life in the area. But rarely did I see a dhole or a leopard or a tiger. In the cloudy forests, the only time you know that something was there was when it had already passed you. But our camera traps gave us a positive assurances. Our efforts in the field documenting animal diversity were successful.

The most magical encounter I had with the wild dogs was in Pakke Tiger Reserve on the the last week Could there be a better time to say goodbye to these protectors of the deep forest? I stumbled across from the bend in the Dekorai river 5 miles upstream of the camp when I saw four bright red creatures standing against the bank. Seemingly they found no interest in the sounds of vicinity, the wind was in our favour. We watched, them for a few minutes feeding on what seem to be a young muntjac. These dogs usually push a prey to water and surround it while simultaneously dis-embowering it voraciously. 

Around Arunachal, much of the killing by tigers, leopards and dhole of mithun has taken place leading to retaliation by the locals who have a sacred place for the bovid. But, the dhole per se takes much of the blame. Even though the resilience of this animal has proven time and again it can survive amidst dangerous times, the real test lie in us allowing it to do so.

Bealzeebul got me this time,

Willfully I gave myself,

Tired were my legs that I could not run,

Sad were were my eyes that I could not turn,

To show you my dismay,

Instead I broke and fell and lay.

Instead, I danced on the fire,

burnt my soles and strained my neck,

Bowing down to the ever deceitful,

Forgetting the word that was to be carried,

I shifted my stance from a balance to dangle,

I revoked my promise to and got strangled

Strangled so quickly when he got the chance,

smiled as if he were with me all the time,

but at last he stood far from my sight,'

ashamed may be but victorious,

I could see the other side I was now far,

From the shore,

Worsened and the spear the that tore,
ran through him like a fire,
chariots of white, myrh and sapphire,
piercing the evil within the liar,
Ah! I woke agian to find,
The battle every day won,
Of a manic depressed son.

A strange day!

Lets jump in the mainstream,

don't be a small team,

buy goods of your land,

because others are superior than,

and forget not to thank your God,

since there are so many, they might get distrought.

live it like a king,

but never say you were a sting,

You wretched the land like a weed,

Ah...there you are!

The righteous shall prevail

They may say that you are a dipso..

So they saw you were out with so and so,

They might hold on to a thread for many revolutions,

And might even find that you have a complication.

Suddenly, they will smile and wish you all the best,

When they only consider you a pest,

But you will stand and obey,

You will shine and portray,

you will show that they were small

Even if they stand tall behind a wall

That was built on pretense,

And all they tried was to break your defense.

People will say and keep saying,

When you have done all you best,

They will be waiting to snatch the nest,

Snare you like a fowler,

but you will not be deceived,

you are not make believe,

Your friends know you,

Your God loves you.

A day comes and the sun shines,

My window lies like a sentry,

Waiting to welcome but he shuns,

The violet light from passing its warmth,

And my days just turn into midnight,

Where I lie awake and never fight.

I lie beneath the riverbed,

Wishing the waves will wash away,

The past and dust of my feet,

I pull off my feet instead,

Afraid I'll stain of the river that is dead.

I shout and call out their names,

Once , particles in the drift,

Swaying and greeting whenever they meet,

now they are heavier and leaded,

They have settled to what they found,

Been dampened by the clouds.

But I, I stay still,

I stay quiet,

I stay silent,

I stay calm.

untitled

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
and gig was a job for the nights
now they all mean different things
and that really mega bytes
An application was for employment
a program was a TV show
a cursor used profanity
a keyboard was a piano
Memory was something that you lost with age
a cd was a bank account
and if you had a 3 1/2" floppy
you hoped nobody found out
Compress was something you did to the garbage
not something you did to a file
and if you unzipped anything in public
you'd be in jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire
hard drive was a long trip on the road
a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
and a backup happened to your commode
Cut you did with a pocket knife
paste you did with glue
a web was a spider's home
and a virus was the flu
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
and the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
but when it happens they wish they were dead !!! -ANONYMOUS